Finding the Rhythm

I realize that this posting is pretty off-topic, but here goes… This weekend when I have some time, I’ll be de-friending a pile of people on Facebook. It’s nothing personal; it’s just that Facebook’s Achilles Heel is becoming more and more painful, and it calls for extreme measures.

What the hell am I talking about? Well, bear with.

Facebook helps you connect and share with the people in your life. That’s what they say, right on their home page. But let’s take a quick inventory of the various types of “people in my life:”

• Best friends
• Casual friends
• Work friends at my current day job
• Work friends from previous day jobs
• DJ friends
• Online friends
• Family friends
• Immediate family members
• Extended family members
• Neighbors

I’m probably missing some of them, but 10 different types of “friends” is probably sufficient to make my point. Which is, do I really want my neighbors or work colleagues to know about the trepidation I’m feeling about my upcoming proctological examination? Do I really want my nieces and nephews to know that I just told a nasty joke about my sister-in-law at work, that my co-workers can’t stop bringing-up? Do I really want my family and boss to hear about how I tied one on at a DJ gig, or to see all the stupid Facebook Mobile photo uploads I made at the time? (For the record, my ass is fine, and I don’t even have a brother. The last example, unfortunately, is true.)

Think I’m wrong about this? The Internet is rife with examples of me being even more right than a simple embarrassment about a doctor’s appointment. Like losing your job over a Facebook posting that the “wrong friends” saw, or having the authorities use photos and comments you’ve posted against you.

Facebook fairly recently started allowing you to group your friends. I have no idea what value this is, considering that once they’re grouped, you get precisely zero control over what happens from there. Want to post something only for your co-workers friends group? Good luck. Want to make sure the ridiculous pictures from the family picnic go only to your family? Yeah, sure. Dream on. Filtering who I see on my home page on-demand isn’t really my idea of control, but it’s the limit of what these groups can deliver.

The stupid assumption that all the people in your life are created equal is laced throughout Facebook, and changing it would require a massive overhaul of the Facebook infrastructure. I’m wagering we’ll never see that overhaul happen. Ever.

So the Achilles Heel… Just like Facebook was a way better MySpace (and what it did to MySpace is suddenly becoming very, very apparent), all it’s going to really take to put Facebook in its place is someone to develop a better mousetrap with a compelling reason to start using it, and for me, that service is that one that does everything Facebook does—while giving me the ability to filter, separate and control my various public and private faces. With technology, and with web-based services specifically, people can be (and are) supremely fickle. The Internet is littered with has-beens and their entrails, and if anyone thinks Facebook, Google, Flickr or anyone else is going to stand on top forever is kidding themselves. They will stay on top only as long as it takes for someone to create a clearly better approach and get a little momentum going. Many people are already trying; most of them will fail miserably. Will it be a long haul? Yes. Is it impossible? Not even a little. And as I said, the first Facebook challenger to do this right? I’m all over it.

So back to Facebook. Apologies in advance to the family members, the co-workers, and others who are going to get tossed from my friends list this weekend. Don’t take it personally. My participation in Facebook is changing to a very narrowly-defined purpose, and anyone on my friends list who doesn’t really fit that is getting deleted. It’s just the way it is. Blame it on Facebook and the fact that they have a seriously flawed concept. And blame it on the fact that, at least for now, I have no interest in maintaining 2, 3, 4, 5, or maybe 6 or more different Facebook profiles so I can limit who gets to hear what; that’s way too much work—and just not worth it.